Friday, August 28, 2009

We warned you about the Dutch


We at bikerackheads pride ourselves on providing you the reader with groundbreaking news and analysis. We know you count on us to provide insights you can't find anywhere else: into training, racing, riding, and of taking life by the bottom bracket and squeezing out every last drop of Pedro's lube from it.

Of living a life like Mario Cipollini as much as a middle aged Cat 4 clown with absolutely no life can.

One of the ways we at bikerackheads serve the cycling community is by stirring up excessive fear about our riders. Thus, our post this spring warning the community that we came into possession of two literal Dutchpersons--not just people from Kalamazoo, Michigan or Vikings who claim Dutch parentage, Swiss childhoods and Venezuelan schoolage just to lure women on long hikes. No, we had two Dutch persons with the following traits:

-speak Dutch

-construct windmills

-are cool with you pursuing vice in their country as long as you keep it to Amsterdam

-are cheap but whose women are willing to split the bill on a date

-who gave us special ovens

I know that NCVC has a Scotsman and Haymarket now has Ryan Simpson, who is definitely an alien of some sort in terms of his threshold power. I know also that Artemis has DJ Brew, who's from the Republic of Asskicking and that ABRT has a name worthy of the tifosi: Fabrizio Roman.

All very impressive.

But our Dutchman, winner of the B-race jersey at Greenbelt, is a Dutchman.
Dutchman. We warned you.

No comments: