Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Dam-Making, Leg-Breaking Dutch: We Got 'Em

Dutch Dikes

Dutch Bikes

As everyone knows, the Dutch are, on average, the world's tallest folk, a seafaring folk with an affinity for orange. They're good at retaining water (check out their dykes), they invented a devastating move in soccer called the Cruyff, and, relevant to this blog and our blinkered existence, they are born and die on bicycles.

Last night at Greenbelt I got a huge leadout from Dennis. Dennis is from Groningen, I believe.

That's right, we have a Dutchman.

And he's not any old Dutchman. He's also a NASA scientist.

Don't bother cleaning out your shorts just yet, because here's another reason to lose control of your bodily functions: Dennis has a full Rabobank kit. He didn't buy it; it was given to him because he was a member of a Rabobank development team. The same Rabobank team that now leads the Giro d'Italia.

Go ahead now. Clean out your shorts. Hose yourself off. And don't feel bad...all of us on the team have soiled ourselves trying to keep up with the Dutch.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention something else (and ladies, if you haven't yet been gripped with fear you might want to stop reading at this point). We have a Dutchwoman. An Olympic diver, the kind that you see on TV. I'm not kidding. None of you will ever be as good at any sport as she was at her sport.

Sorry about that. I'm seriously done with the pronouncements that make you crap yourself. Go ahead. Clean your shorts out in earnest.

A Rough Likeness of the Bike Rack Dutch Contingent


Martin Andres Austermuhle said...


We've actually got a third Dutch person - me! Yep, by grace of my Dad being Dutch I've picked up the passport. Then again, I don't speak the language or look the part, but I'm legally one them. So that lead-out yesterday? Double-Dutch power.

Calvini said...

Now I feel like Menchov! A whole swarm of Dutchmen working for me.

Sorry I didn't deliver with the win, but I'm only 1/16th Dutch, so I've got an excuse.

dennis said...

i am afraid that is too much honour; although my team was sponsored by Rabobank, there is no connection to their development teams. Rabo is big in cycling and they sponsor many local teams, such as my old team

dennis said...

we didn't win, but it was a hell of a move you made! was really excited to see you swing by. Good timing, and next time we'll make it.

Calvini said...

I'm no one to dispense advice to a Dutchman, but how about next week you be a little more selfish? Go for the w.