Wednesday, February 24, 2010

MABRA Inexplicably Whines about DC Hosting the Lord God and his Mighty Host of Heavenly Figures!


When the rumors started several months ago that DC might host the Lord God Almighty and his heavenly band of eternal and perfect blissfullness, the sensitive parts of me were set a-tingling.

If yours were not, you better fix yourself right this instant.

Get your head right, because Jesus on a bicycle is coming to DC. So says the Viking, and the Viking does not lie. I say these things because, over on the MABRA list, some have complained about some of the arrangements surrounded the week long sojourn into nirvana.

Says one:
I feel sorry for the angels. Talk about jet lag and singing in a GT. Bad idea too me.


Says another:

They can do it. But still, I don't think it's the best idea.


And another:

Will the streets be plowed by then? What about the potholes, will they be fixed in time?


And another:

This is actually a good point (concerning the potholes).

I still remember when the prophet Mohammed and his 7,000 virgins came here in 1992. The aftermath wasn't completely wonderful, as the virgins were pretty outspoken about how awful the halal shops were for what was the closing kabob cook-off. St. Peter, who lost the overall to Saladin, said as much on national television. Didn't exactly paint DC in a great light as a place to hold a professional bike race, and Mohammed never came back here.


Look, Jesus is coming to DC in 2012. If you aren't ready to turn around, jump around and welcome him here, better check your soul.

6 comments:

Chas Offutt said...

Amen.

qualia said...

If Jesus rides his bike for recreation, not transportation, that will send the wrong message to the likes of John Cook, Mary Peters, etc.

DJ Bike Police said...

HALLELUJAH!!

Tim Rugg said...

Is Jesus going to bless Ringer?

Tony A. said...

More like an exorcism, Rugg.

Calvini said...

That's the great thing about Jesus--he's into forgiving everyone:).