Friday, August 13, 2010

You Got Reintegrated

I've always been a fan of yougotdropped. It's funny and all those jackasses totally deserve to be mocked for being slow, having mechanicals, showing ass, and looking like they've been hosed in shame and urine. More shame! More urine! More entries devoted to socks! Socks, socks, socks!

True, I've never been dropped's victim, and victims may have a different perspective. I can imagine not enjoying the display of a very public picture of me having just pissed myself, not wearing YGD socks, AND my jersey's unzipped and I've forgotten my "bro."


Thus, and in the spirit of Oprah and those who think Zipp 808's make a beautiful noise at speed, I propose a life-affirming new MABRA venture in vivid 2-d...













You Got Reintegrated? [alternatively, You Have Been Reintegrated, You Reintegrated Yourself, Reintegration!]

What would You Got Reintegrated (hereafter, YGR) be?
YGR would be a "web log" that would show pictures of riders temporarily dropped who manage to get back in (i.e., "reintegrate") the peleton. It would show a picture of a reintegrated rider, and add an affirming caption such as, "GREAT JOB!!", "YOU MADE IT WITHOUT PISSING YOURSELF THAT WE ARE AWARE OF!", and "I TAKE BACK MY EARLIER ASSERTION THAT I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!!"

Who would visit YGR?
YGR, if "codified," would appeal to greater MABRA area riders seeking self affirmation and seeking to affirm the efforts of others (i.e., narcisists and suck ups). Comments would be moderated to only allow life-affirming remarks, not negative life-destructive bitching and accuracy. Also, those who sought socks could buy socks at YGR. We'd sell lots of socks to riders seeking to affirm the aspirations of others.

Today YGR is only in the conceptualization stage. We face legal issues with the Center for Reintegration, which helps crazy people "blend seemlessly into society" so normal members of society don't run away when we see nutjobs on the street talking to themselves; and also the Texas Rio Project for Reintegrating Prisoners back into society so they can start killing people again without being disruptive to society.

With hope and affirmation, dreaming, naming, claiming, not-shaming, and never-changing, we will soon see the light of YGR shining from the MABRA hilltop, after we've dropped all your asses on the climb, you fat, lazy, equipment-deficit, sweaty, urine and poop-covered losers without our socks.

4 comments:

Drew Armstrong said...

Like.

CO said...

I'll buy those socks.

The Jerkbeast said...

This post makes me want to go comb my posi-top while listening to Grade: Separate the Magnets.

Tim Rugg said...

Hah - that's my hoping to crash out so I don't get dropped and have to try to reintegrate face. Good choice.