Picture courtesy of Amy Jones
On Sunday at RFK I raced in both the 35+ Masters (9:30am) and the 3/4 (4:30pm). That meant I sat through about seven hours of Joe Jefferson's announcing.
Now, I'm not faulting Joe. Lord knows I couldn't come up with anything original for seven hours straight, especially at a race like RFK ("...they're turning into the wind now...they all look the same...there are no attacks...my how they're sweating...isn't this a big parking lot?").
After sitting through Universal sports' coverage of the Giro, it's clear to me that cycling announcing, like playing the violin or parcours should only be done in public by professionals.
Only Phil Ligget and Paul Sherwin seem to have it down. I hear "He's dancing on his pedals in a most immodest way!" when I'm standing and climbing and "Ulrich's big diesel engine" when I'm seated.
"He's dipping into his suitcase of courage"
"The peloton is riding like scalded cats"
"This is a big beefy boy!"
"Well there you are --never trust a dutchman!"
"They are dying like dogs in the gutter today"
And my favorite:
"Here comes the balding pate of Levi Leipheimer!"
Thanks to Joe Jefferson, you can add "the field is strung out like Amy Winehouse" to that list.