Fugazi Race Reports: Virgil and Margie on Turkey Hill

My good friends Virgil and Margie hadn't ever raced before, but this weekend saw them cause quite a scene at Turkey Hill. I interviewed them last night to try to figure out how a couple of retirees jumped into bike racing:











BRH: How is it that you guys came to race at Turkey Hill?

Virgil: We retired to Lancaster County and ride our bikes out there a lot. On Saturday we were doing repeats at threshold up the Gamber wall on The Marriage Counselor--that's what we call our tandem--and suddenly a group of Freds in newfangled gear swarmed us in a very rude way. They were pushy. None were wearing helmet mirrors.

Margie: They really were very aggressive and it was dangerous how they were riding. I said to Virgil, "Punch it!" We blew by them in our 53 - 12 putting out 450w. Virgil has such strong legs; I can't put out huge bursts of power like him, but I can go and go."

Virgil: You sure can. Margie says to me, "Let's drop these lard butts, Virgil!"

BRH: Not easy to do.

Virgil: Field was strung out like Amy Winehouse.

Margie: We dropped them like a bad habit.

Virgil: Those boys won't be able to pee standing up for a long time.

BRH: I see you've heard Joe Jefferson announce...

Virgil: In any case, we eventually turned around and asked one of these boys where he was heading.

Margie: He said the finish line was right up ahead, and that there was free ice cream.

Virgil: Ah ha ha! We realized why they were getting carried away out there, riding so reckless.

Margie: We made it to the ice cream first, and got our pick of the lot.

Virgil: That was a real treat, wasn't it, Marge? Although it does hurt your dentures.

BRH: Has this made you consider entering races legitimately?

Margie: Sure, if they give you free ice cream at these things. We'll invite all the old timers.