Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Gang Dances [Please] Infiltrate MABRA Squads

See Serena dance?  Seems harmless, right?

Wrong!  Her little dance is in fact the very, very deadly C walk.  The C walk originates in Los Angeles in the deadliest of all decades, the 1970s, in the deadliest of all gangs, the Crips.  More on the origins of the dance here.  Despite appearances, this is no joyous, life-affirming dance.  This was a signal from the global Anglo epicenter--Wimbledon, where they mandate the attire to be white, for God's sake!--to her homies back in Compton.  Manufactured outrage follows. 

When asked by a clueless Anglo what was the name of the seemingly harmless jig she had unveiled, the cold blooded drug dealing murderer, fashion afficionado, and four-time U.S. Open singles champ replied, "Actually, there is a name. But I don't know if I -- it's inappropriate. It's just a dance we do in California."  This despite residing in Florida!  

Joking aside, the C walk was more than a cool little shuffle in the early days; it had meaning in a way that would delight anthropologists, the kind who find all kinds of meaning in primitive dances intended to not only express emotions, but to do things--signal to the gods that rain would be fine, for instance.  The C walk held a different kind of meaning, one that allowed Crips to communicate, to build their tribe, and to expand their empire.

Not that I knew anything about it when it was all the rage among one of the major crack dealing cartels in LA.  No, I was living on goat farm at the time in Michigan and listening to U2 and dancing meant biting my lower lip and pelvic thrusting at top speed to anything with a kick and snare.

Like a lot of things, C Walking over time became something else.  Gangster rappers, some of them Crips or former Crips, did the dance in videos.  Here's Dub C doing it with Ice Cube:

Fans overseas saw the dance and the dance, like our music, became an American artistic export, it's original intent all but irrelevant.  Here is what looks like a Southeast Asian trio making a ballet of it:

There's really not a lot new in the idea of using dance for something other than celebrating a wedding or making a few dollars from some idiot brokers.  Over in New Zealand and Tonga they do a dance to intimidate their opponents before battle.

It's a shame we have nothing like this in cycling.

There's no grace to our combat.  The pre-combat dance is usually just a guy lifting a wheel over his head.  Something like (recently disgraced Carlos Barredo in the 2010 Tour:
We need more pre-race orchestrated dances.  I'm not saying there has to be C walking or Blood bouncing, but would I like to see Bike Doctor break out in the hakka regularly?  Of course.  We need a bit more bad blood and sweet dance moves between the squads to make things interesting.

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