Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Jefferson Cup: I was there with Custer

Pete Custer

Sometimes, all we can ask for is a chance to play the game. That's a gift.

That's all this guy without shins asked.

It's what this guy and this guy probably miss.

Most folks, those who suffer from this, are no longer in the game.

On Sunday, Custer got a chance to join the game. If you want to see why he deserves the chance, read this. Also, be aware that Custer DJs in a one-off Bike Doctor skinsuit.

Here's a video of Custer winning Wilmington last year.

Wilmington GP Road Race Cat 2/3 Finish from Pete Custer on Vimeo.

Notice his breakaway partner? That's Pete Warner, the same guy who wrote the gushing prose about him cited above--Warner and Custer again made the winning break, this time at Jeff Cup.

For once, I made the break too. I did it with Custer, at Jeff Cup. One more fact about Custer's DJ-ing: he ends each show with a infrasonic brown note.

So be cool. It's cool. I'm with Custer.

I'd written a huge description of how the race unfolded, complete with completely made-up wattages and speeds and bears slain and rivals porked...

But I realize that these first-person kind of things are usually incredibly boring. Definitely not as interesting as Custer. I had to tell myself, Chill, man. It's cool. You're with Custer. Custer's cool.

Custer once played the acoustic version of "Electric Slide" with nothing but a washboard, spoons, and slapping out a rhythm on his stomach. Everyone on the dance floor got laid that night, figuratively speaking.

So what happened out there to get Custer to the Nature Valley Pro Chase?

Here's what I saw happen...

A forward element of treadmill bikers laid down a steady "attack", their Rockport walkers a blur:

XO moved to counter the move, along with Veloshine. A group of 12 went, including Custer, Warner, and a really bad smell. At that point, I realized it was going to be a rough slog, and I stole some body's Competitive Cyclist bottle hand-up. Yes, I realize this is a sin, but so is filling a bottle with tepid water. Really? I've never been so disappointed in a stolen water bottle.

I launched across, and caught onto the back. They looked at me skeptically, wondering what I was doing in the winning break.

It's OK, I said, I'm with Custer.

One more thing about Custer--he once DJ-ed at a Navajo party; he Windtalked the entire set. You try translating Apache into Navajo. Custer did it so well they did not encircle his company and kill Custer at the end of the night.

There were a bunch of attacks 'n stuff. This was the coolest part of the race, because it was really technical, but, like I said, it isn't nearly as cool as Custer. This whole time, Custer sat with his lieutenant, Warner, discussing whether or not dubstep is just agonizingly slow half-time break beat with an air horn thrown in now in then.

Eventually, we made it to the finish, where Custer was awarded a trip to Minnesota and a lifetime supply of surprisingly unhealthy Nature Valley granola bars.

My game was over, but at least I'd had a chance at winning it; at least I get to say, I was there with Custer. I saw him do it.


chainfree said...

BRILLIANT! The Windtalking piece had me in stitches.

Again, great riding out there by you!

Nate Wilson said...

Pete Custer is the man! What a great guy!

Chuck Wagon said...

Nice riding. Is there any causality in the correlation between you training this winter and the success of your Jeff Cup experience?

Calvini said...

Dave, I'm not sure about my training. Stats-wise, I'm seeing some all-time highs in power intervals < 10 minutes, but anything > 15 minutes is either the same or worse than last year. There's about 5 lbs more cheesburger in here somewhere as well.

Last year I blamed a lot of my results on bad luck and poor tactics; this year I've just gotten a bit luckier.