Saturday, May 14, 2011

Harley Sweeps Field at Poolesville

Team Kisses and Hugs swept places 1-6 at Poolesville. They probably would have swept 1-7, except Adam Switters was so far ahead of the field that he entered a time warp-spacetime continuum thing that's way, way too complicated for ol' Uncle Paps to explain, much less understand.

The race was decided pretty much immediately. Eight riders launched from the gun. NCVC, after determining that having two riders among the eight was sufficient, joined with Harley in forming a wall of solid defenders holding speeds to a brisk walk.

Eight miles in, the gap was over a minute.

16 miles in, the gap was over two minutes.

Switters and an NCVC rider attacked, and entered the space time continuum thing I mentioned earlier. I saw them later, as I sat beside the road with a flat tire. (Lest anyone doubt whether Haymarket and Harley are separate entities, let the record show that Harley denied me a spare wheel when I flatted).

Chuck Hutcheson attacked the break, then Tim Brown attacked and bridged up. Places 1 and 2 were set. Chuck apparently hasn't won enough piddly MABRA races, and Brown is apparently gracious enough to let Chuck continue to win such races.

Behind, Nieters hung on to the three riders--one from DC Velo, one from Coppi, and one from Kelly, I believe--attempting to catch Brown and Hutcheson. I believe NCVC's Rob Sheffield was in there somewhere.

Evan Fader, who'd flatted, caught back onto the pack, and apparently put in some serious wattage. I didn't see this, mind you, since I was sitting in the back of a truck and chatting with Dave K. of Gamjams, who'd flatted and was riding "solo emo," as the DVR folks say.

What happened to Haymarket? Steven Black went down, Darion Fleming went down (poor kid) and flatted, Greg Witwer flatted, and only Bruno survived to the finish line.

The break, all except Brown and Hutcheson, collapsed and reintegrated.

In the last lap, Rugg and Keck attacked on the dirt and stayed away for third and fourth.

"What was that sprint about?" I asked Rugg, who appeared to be racing his teammate to the finish.

"Just doing intervals," replied Rugg. "We needed to get at least some Zone 4 intensity in today."

I was, to say the least, depressed at my race. I wandered into the church/staging area after stealing some coconut water, and noticed several flyers on the wall.

One announced some kind of outdoorsy Woodstock for Jesus-type event called Creation 2011:

The last thing I wanted to do after flatting out of a race was to go to a party celebration Creation.

I thought about this one, "HOW I SHOULD HAVE MET YOUR MOTHER: A LOVE STORY IN REVERSE," which seemed pretty close in meaning to a class called "WHY I SHOULD'VE LEFT THAT B**** BEFORE YOU WERE BORN." I picture a guy on a folding chair, drinking scotch, smoking a cigar, which he points with disdain in a general direction when he says, "your mother."

But then I saw this one showing a weeping LL Cool J, entitled "What is there to cry about? A look at biblical laments."

God knows where they found a picture of Ladies Love weeping. Whatever, I'm pissed and, a little boo hoo might do me some good. Sign me up for that one.

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