Wednesday, May 26, 2010

On the Incorrect Use of the Toothbrush Mustache

You may have seen the first picture before, you probably have not seen the picture on the right before, probably because I just made it, using MS Paint.

I see the one of Obama every day; the Larouche evangelists set it up across the street from the White House, near my office.

Today, I finally stopped and expressed my outrage. In the end, the Larouche evangelist admitted to me that the Obama poster was a piece of propaganda. Kind of like Nazi propaganda. "But what does it matter," he said, "if I use propaganda...if the American people are getting screwed?"

He then handed me quite a lot of literature, on which were several pictures of Larouche. I drew a toothbrush 'stache on it, and handed it back to him.

Floyd Landis has just painted toothbrush mustaches on the heroes of American cycling. The heroes have responded, putting a mustache on Floyd.

I think Floyd is right. Is it likely that US Postal ruled the world, as it did for several years, without a systemmatic doping program? No. Especially when (a) its competitors--those teams Postal was destroying--were doping and (b) most of the riders that left Postal have subsequently tested positive. To compete, at the time, you had to dope.

That Floyd would describe Lance's apartment, the fridge where he kept his blood, the entire process--this gives his story credibility. That Floyd, given his Mennonite weird background, would just fire off the truth, without regarding his past lies, seems in character.

Of course, the mustaches Floyd, Lance, George, Dave Z., Johan and the UCI has given each other are fake, and it is hard to know what's what.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter. For those of us who simply love to ride, and to get faster, and to compete, and to achieve the little victories that don't require $90,000 worth of drugs each year, and to avoid the toothbrush mustache altogether--that is enough.


TerribleTerry said...

Next post should be on the correct use of a handlebar mustache. We need more folks on penny farthings with handlebar mustaches.

Calvini said...

The Jacques-Maynes brothers were sporting handlebar mustaches at the ToC, Terry, so you're on to something there. The penny farthing thing...I must confess total ignorance.