Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Vikingmulery, Ruggishness, Calvination, Simpsonite, Jeffersonianism

Apologies in advance for a rambling, hodgepodge post. (Ahhh! I accidentally just published it, so it's going to be hastily-written as well.)

Viking Exploits
I drove to Poolesville to spectate/support this weekend, arriving just in time to see Martin crush the 4's, Viking-style, at the finish. What more can be said? The Viking speaks with his quads.
Rugginations
Next, I went to the feed zone to hand off water bottles to the 3's. First lap, Rugg was off the back by a couple of minutes along with a strong Coppi guy, both caught behind an early crash. I thought he'd catch back on; I could see the crazy in the eyes. Sure enough, the next two times through he was off the front attacking.

Calvinated
Calvini looked traumatized afterwards, a thick layer of grime coating body and kit. His hands were cramping so hard it seemed he had palsy and the facial expression said he'd just witnessed a dead Japanese woman crawling out of a television set. Calvini spent a lot of time spelunking in the pain cave.

Simpathetic
Poor Ryan Simpson. He was on a solo break for the early part of the race and I was supposed to hand him a bottle on lap three. He had a mishap and there was no bottle handoff. The next day at Reston he was off the front for pretty much all of it until he got caught up in a crash in the last laps.
JJ
Joe Jefferson was on fire Sunday. "Amy Winehouse" passed his lips only once. For the most part he spun MJ tributes and made family-friendly allusions to buffet lines. 'Blown out the back' similes were drawn almost exclusively from the potential causes of digestive distress.

My favorite Jeffersonian moment was the harassment of some swanky females watching the race from a balcony perch. After labeling them "high maintenance," Joe preempted: "Yeah, I know, the restraining order is in the mail." Classic.

Someone proposed that Joe voice over Phil and Paul's commentary on the Tour this year and put it on local cable. I would definitely watch that.

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